Rushing & Rejection: How To Teach Your College Freshman To Accept Rejection

October 15, 2017

No parent likes to see their kids suffer through rejection. It’s painful to watch and yet it is just one of the many life lessons our kids face when going away to college. Finding your people as a freshman is likely the most stressful and scary part of going away to college.

What can you do when your college freshman calls home feeling rejected?

First just breath and allow yourself to have whatever reaction you are having. After all, you are the parent and you care about your child’s experience. You will have a reaction. However, get clear, present and notice your reaction. This is key to engaging consciously with your kid.

Allow them to feel their feelings all the way through without interrupting the flow. It can be so difficult to see our kids suffer and we jump in and try to solve the problem before they have had a chance to truly feel their feelings. Give them lots of space to just be with their emotions. When we allow our emotions to move all the way through they do not get trapped in our bodies and minds and we become free of them. This is emotional intelligence and an important and valuable skill for our kids to develop as they grow into adulthood and leadership.  

Empathize without solving. This is tricky because we so desperately want to make the pain go away!  We offer suggestions, thoughts and ideas helping solve the problem and to take their mind off of the discomfort. STOP IT! When we interrupt our kids discomfort we are unconsciously teaching them that it’s not ok to feel sad, angry, fearful or whatever emotion they are experiencing. We send a message that something is wrong with those feelings. These so called “negative emotions” are just as valuable as positive emotions and when our kids can learn to fully feel anger, sadness and fear they are free to feel joy and happiness and love as equally. This is the real gift in emotional intelligence.

Developing awareness of our own emotional reactivity in the face of our kids stress is challenging. However, when we get present to what is occurring in us first, we are better equipped to support our kids. With so little time and so much to say, there is not time like the present!  

Learning to listen from presence is your greatest gift to your children during life’s big  transitions.

Knowing how to get present and listen in stressful times is a learned skill. 

I’d love for you to join me and other parents on a journey to learn how to drop into presence with ease, get out of your own fears so you can truly hear what your kid needs and teach them how to navigate the stress and anxiety that interferes with their success.In just 4 short weeks you will learn how to:

  • Cultivate a quick mindfulness practice to bring you to presence in 30 seconds or less
  • Listen so your child feels seen and heard
  • Shift from conflict to connection
  • Help your student learn to avoid the drama that gets in the way of their success
  • Help your child find success in their stress
  • Learn to listen between the lines
  • Know when to step in and when to let go
  • Enrich, deepen and build trust in your relationship  


Join me and together let's give our kids the greatest gift we have - our attention. 

Annmarie Chereso
Founder, BringIt! Home

Here is one thing I know for sure. Practice does not make us perfect.But it certainly helps to smooth out the rough edges. The most important lesson I have learned in my crazy mixed up life is that practice is all there is and I am devoted to it. And I’d like to share it with you.

Let’s face it, life can feel out of control and crazy much of the time. My life is no exception. As a single working mother of three children, I have come to realize that my personal peace and emotional well being are the key for being a good parent, a good friend, a good partner and coach and for leading my happiest, most fulfilling and emotionally satisfying life.  My 22-year practice of yoga, meditation, and mindfulness has taught me how to be present, conscious and aware of how to cultivate this personal well being.

I have been fortunate to study with many of the great wellness leaders of our time. In addition to being a certified Martha Beck life coach, I received my training and certification to teach mindfulness through Mindful Schools and the Mindful Education Institute.  I have had the honor and privilege to study under inspiring leaders in the field of Contemplative Practices such as Jack Kornfield, Susan Kaiser Greenland, Linda Lantieri, Daniel Rechstaffen and many other pioneers in the field of mindfulness and education.  

I have been trained by prestigious mindfulness industry leaders including John Kabat Zinn, Professor of Medicine Emeritus and founding director of the Stress Reduction Clinic and the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society at the University of Massachusetts Medical School.

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